Today seemed like just another day. There are times that I get so busy and I almost forget about her. That makes me feel sad. I know that I can not think about her all day, every day. There will always be something that jumps out to remind me of her. I had a client that I was showing homes to this afternoon and I saw the cutest room. My immediate thought was "this would be great for Jordan's room" then it hits me. She is not here. She will not get to see how pretty we decorated her room. Randy and I worked so hard to get all of the furniture to fit and the decorations perfect. We were going to use the bedding from when Chase was little to save money and really decorate her room when she got a little older. My mother-in-law bought us the cutest bedding set as a gift. It was pink and green with little red ladybugs. And it was perfect! She never even got to sleep on her lady bug sheets. I miss her SO MUCH!
Now we need to figure out a time to get the room back to a guest room. But I can't right now. I really do not even go in there. Sometimes there is comfort in the glider, but mostly I keep the door closed. I am scared of the emotions that the room will bring up. I can get through most of the day ok, but if I go in there the flood gates open up and I don't want Chase to see his mommy sad. I need to be strong for him. I know it is healthy to cry and get it out, but I prefer to do that in private.
We are having a special BBQ benefit tribute to Baby Jordan in front of the Cy-Fair Coldwell Banker office on Saturday, October 17th, 11 am-3 pm. It will be our opportunity to hopefully raise money to donate to SIDS research in her honor. We are praying for a large turnout. We will have BBQ plates, silent auction, music and friends. We want to do something every year to help keep her memory alive and the donations raised to help find a cause for this horrible problem.