Monday, March 15, 2010


Wow, what an amazing God we have. So much happens on a daily basis that makes me really appreciate what he has to offer us if we just listen.

As a person who has gone through a huge challenging event this past year, I still often wonder WHY? My son is 3 and that one question is turning into one of his favorites these days. "WHY Mommy" there are a lot of times I find myself saying "Because Mommy said so" to him that is not a very good reason. And I look up to God and ask WHY did he take my little girl? "Because I said so" . To me that is the same lack of response that I get when I ask that question I probably sound just like to my little boy. Amazing how he truly is the Father, and everything happens for a reason.

I have a huge problem with worry. It is a trait that I got from my mother, and a challenge in my life on a daily basis. Our pastor is talking about giving God 12 weeks and he will change your life forever. Worry was one of his topics this past weekend. The Bible says "do not worry about anything and pray to God for everything" That is a phrase that I will need to read on a daily basis. Maybe I should put it on a post-it-note and stick it to my mirror to read over when I get ready each morning. Pray to God for everything.....I guess it is time to start.

God does not give us what we can not handle....I still look back and re-live that day. Today was a day that it really hit me. My phone rang as I was in the same spot on the road when I first got the phone call from our sitter and it all came crashing back to me. I went over that whole day on my way to a closing this morning. I had to freshen back up my make up because it still felt so real.

God is Great! He still gives and gives and gives. We have been blessed with a new pregnancy and are due to deliver a little girl at the end of July. Randy and I have decided to name her Hope. That was the theme of Jordan's funeral and something that we have held on to for dear life these past 6 months. Just 4 little letters make up one single syllable word and without it life as we know it can not go on. We could not think of a better name for a little person who has given the Connell's HOPE for life after a tragedy. Big Brother Chase is very excited.

We will never forget our little girl and Randy and I both read a lot of articles about SIDS and want to continue to do something to help raise awareness every day and are working on our new event for this year to keep the memory of Baby Jordan going forever. If we can save just one life, I will feel like that was her purpose. What an amazing person she could have turned out to be. I miss my baby Jordan every day!!! This new addition will not ever replace her, nothing will do that. But we are excited that God has given us the opportunity to introduce to the world a new little person.

HOPE....4 little letters with one BIG meaning.

One of my new favorite songs by Addison Road...Hope Now