Friday, July 29, 2011

I count my blessings.

My baby Jordan would have turned 2 this past June. And I find it amazing how time flies by so quickly. The summer months are filled with highs and lows for the Connell family. We celebrated or third child's first birthday this past weekend with family and friends. And on August 21st it will be 2 years since we lost Baby J. As I type this I am filled with emotions of daily life.

I met a lady who is interested in helping us raise funds for the foundation this morning. She made a comment about how strong I am and how easy it is for me to talk about Jordan's death. What I wanted to tell her is that I am not nearly as strong as I appear. I am very good at putting on a poker face when it comes to emotions. When I talk about how we lost her I hope that it will continue to raise awareness and put her story on the hearts of everyone. Hopefully they will pass on that information and tell every mother they know to place their babies on their "Backs to Sleep". Telling her story does require strength but I feel that Jordan's angel gives me the courage to talk about it and tell her story.

I titled this blog post "I count my blessings". I have so many things in my life to be thankful for and at times it seems easier to dwell on the losses. I have also included a link to a song that has recently spoken to me and has really touched my heart.

- I am thankful for a God that is with me every day...
- for my family
- for the short 9 weeks that we were blessed with Baby Jordan in our lives
- for my smart and funny son who is 4. He wears our M.B.J. SIDS bracelet on his ankle in memory of his sister.
- for the beautiful baby girl we named Hope because she fills me with that every day
- for the ability to have a job that on some days allows me to rock my little Hope to sleep and lay her down for a nap.
- for a mother who taught me how to love and how to be a mom. The same mom who is also in Heaven holding my baby girl.
- for a church and a pastor who provides great wisdom and a place to worship. We have a great church family at Community of Faith
- for KSBJ, our local Christian Radio station that somehow knows the right song to play to lift my spirits.

I could be up all night listing every tiny thing that God has given me to touch my life.

We are praying that our 501 (C) 3 application currently in the hands of the IRS gets passed quickly and we are able to use that to work towards continuing to raise awareness of SIDS and safe sleeping practices.