Saturday, October 8, 2011

The MBJ Foundation for SIDS is official!

We did it! The first of many steps in the long process to start an official foundation and get recognized as a non-profit organization from the IRS has become a reality. I was driving while out showing homes to a client yesterday when the attorney called. I told him that I hope he has good news for me because I was driving. He received the official word that our application for the 501(c)3 status had been approved.

This will make it possible to open so many doors for us. I cried as I drove and called friends and board members to share the great news. Our little angel in Heaven was looking over her mom yesterday. I was getting so frustrated with the process and the waiting and waiting that I was beginning to get down. I have a picture on my wall that says 'Don't worry about tomorrow because God is already there" I have to tell myself this all the time.

It is such a great feeling to have the ability to ask for donations and sponsorships with the power behind is to say that their donation is tax deductible.

God is good.

Friday, July 29, 2011

I count my blessings.

My baby Jordan would have turned 2 this past June. And I find it amazing how time flies by so quickly. The summer months are filled with highs and lows for the Connell family. We celebrated or third child's first birthday this past weekend with family and friends. And on August 21st it will be 2 years since we lost Baby J. As I type this I am filled with emotions of daily life.

I met a lady who is interested in helping us raise funds for the foundation this morning. She made a comment about how strong I am and how easy it is for me to talk about Jordan's death. What I wanted to tell her is that I am not nearly as strong as I appear. I am very good at putting on a poker face when it comes to emotions. When I talk about how we lost her I hope that it will continue to raise awareness and put her story on the hearts of everyone. Hopefully they will pass on that information and tell every mother they know to place their babies on their "Backs to Sleep". Telling her story does require strength but I feel that Jordan's angel gives me the courage to talk about it and tell her story.

I titled this blog post "I count my blessings". I have so many things in my life to be thankful for and at times it seems easier to dwell on the losses. I have also included a link to a song that has recently spoken to me and has really touched my heart.

- I am thankful for a God that is with me every day...
- for my family
- for the short 9 weeks that we were blessed with Baby Jordan in our lives
- for my smart and funny son who is 4. He wears our M.B.J. SIDS bracelet on his ankle in memory of his sister.
- for the beautiful baby girl we named Hope because she fills me with that every day
- for the ability to have a job that on some days allows me to rock my little Hope to sleep and lay her down for a nap.
- for a mother who taught me how to love and how to be a mom. The same mom who is also in Heaven holding my baby girl.
- for a church and a pastor who provides great wisdom and a place to worship. We have a great church family at Community of Faith
- for KSBJ, our local Christian Radio station that somehow knows the right song to play to lift my spirits.

I could be up all night listing every tiny thing that God has given me to touch my life.

We are praying that our 501 (C) 3 application currently in the hands of the IRS gets passed quickly and we are able to use that to work towards continuing to raise awareness of SIDS and safe sleeping practices.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

The new normal

My new normal is taking it one day at a time. It is amazing to me how much people talk about kids. I find myself doing the same thing. The posts that I make in Facebook are often photos or comments about my kids. I receive an email every week on how my kids are developing and what milestone the may be achieving this week. They are the center of my world.

The hard part for me is when I mention one child, there is always that question that I still have trouble answering. "How many kids do you have" Hmmm....well I think to myself and try to find the right answer, the one that they want to hear. I have given birth to 3 beautiful children. But if I say "3" then the question that always follows is "how old are they". Well that is another tough one. Chase is 4 and a great little boy. Hope is 7 months old today and Jordan would be 20 months old but we lost her to SIDS when she was just 9 weeks old. And then the mood immediately changes and the person who asked feels bad for asking. I hate to make people feel bad for asking, but I do not want to tell a lie either. I love my baby girl every day and miss her dearly.

I wonder how many people are out there in the world trying to get pregnant and are having trouble. I am sure that they are bombarded with questions about why they don't have kids yet. When in fact that is the one most important thing in this world that they want and it is hard to say "I can't have kids" .

Hug your kids if you have them, hug and pray for someone who does not and please make sure to remind new mothers to place their babies on their backs to sleep.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Rough Day

"When life seems empty and there's no place to go, when your heart is troubled and your spirits are low the burden that seems too heavy to bear God lifts away on the wings of prayer"

I read this in a book today and it made me feel better. It has been over a year since I lost my baby girl and I still think about her every day. As we are about to celebrate Hope's 6 month birthday on Monday I am reminded that each day is precious. And that everyday that I have with my family is a blessing. from above.

2009 was a year of great highs and deep lows. But yet life goes on. Baby Jordan is with me always and I know that I have a little angel on my shoulder. God doesn't give us what we can not handle and surprisingly the sun comes up each morning and goes down again each night. The world still turns, no matter what is happening in our lives. I wish I could have stopped time for just one more day, one hour or even one second to be able to hold her warm hand and tell her that mommy loves her!

Kiss your loved ones today, time goes by too fast.

The MBJ Foundation will be her legacy. It is Baby Jordan's way of helping others from Heaven. Because I know that is where she is at.