The following post is copied from an email that a friend of mine that I work with. emailed to me. It really lifted my spirits so I thought I would share it on the blog to help out others. It is a good reminder of how God sees grief and that he is with us. I have saved these words to look back on every time I get sad. Which right now happens at some point every day. We are still taking it one day at a time. Some days are better than others. Monday was a tough day for me. I worked from home to take care of household duties. It was hard. Very hard. I needed to change the sheets in her room and I had a hard time not getting upset. I look around at all of the decorations that we worked so hard to put together. To give her a room fit for a princess. And now she won't be around to grow up in her room. I look at the the cute clothes that I will not get the opportunity to change her into. I miss my little girl.
Chase talked about her tonight. He said I was Jordan's mommy and then talked about the day that the EMS took her to the hospital. He said "those boys took her". Randy tried to explain that she is in Heaven with God. All Chase can understand is that she is gone. It is hard to really comprehend how much he knows and what I am fearful of what questioning him will bring out from his memory. I feel like at times I walk on egg shells around him. I don't want to be upset in front of him, but I don't want him to forget about her either. I just miss her.
It has been a month. I tried to contact the Medical Examiner's office to see what they have found out. I got nothing. They tell me it is still pending and that infant autopsy's take up to 3 months to get results back. The lady I spoke with at the ME's office told me that the babies take longer because of all of the Genetic testing that they do. That did not really make me feel better, but at least I got a hold of someone. We then received a message at the house from someone who gave us a direct phone number to call and check in. I guess we just wait. Time to head to bed. Please continue to read the entry below. If you have lost anyone close in your life, it may help. Thanks for all of the prayers, they are really helping.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4 (NKJ)
Grief is the price we pay for love! To love deeply is to grieve our losses deeply. Henri Nouwen writes: 'We wonder when grief hits hard, "Why did this happen? To remind us of the brevity and fragility of life? To deepen the faith of those who carry on?" It is hard to answer "Yes," when everything seems dark. The important thing to us at that moment is to be relieved of the pain. But when we move through adversity rather than avoid it, we greet it differently. We become willing to let it teach us. Like Joseph, we see how God can use it for some larger end. Ultimately, mourning means facing what wounds us, in the presence of the only One who can heal us!'
David writes: '. . . weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning' (Psalm 30:5). Morning always comes! Your grief will ease with time. Your willingness to embrace the pain rather than escape it, guarantees that. It is not that you will forget, it is that you will remember it differently; with more gratitude and less grief.
Your tomorrows are not in the hands of your employer, your banker, your stock broker, or even your family. No, they are in God's hands, and He will be there for you when every other support has gone. Has He not always protected, provided for, and comforted you? Times and seasons change, but not 'the God of all comfort.' He has promised never to leave you. So be encouraged, today He will be with you wherever you go!