Today is our 4 year wedding anniversary. If you look from the outside some may think there is not a lot to celebrate. We looked at today as a way of celebrating that we have each other and a happy little boy to watch grow up. We have to let life continue to happen. A friend sent me a note today telling me "Happy Anniversary" and saying that in a short 4 years we have been through a lot of tough events. The recent death of our little girl being the most traumatic. As hard as it is sometimes to get past another day, I could not imagine how I could get by without my husband. He is my rock and keeps me strong. We spent the evening eating KFC for dinner as a family, I worked late and need to go grocery shopping, so take out it was. Not a very romantic dinner, but I spent it with my boys. We are going to have a dinner out on Saturday when work does not call so early in the morning.
I spent the first part of today dealing with insurance companies. It was a weird morning to be talking to the billing department at the hospital she was born at to make sure they had the right healthcare information to file their claim and then sending over the insurance information to the company who sent us the first bill from the emergency room. You would think that they can do the math and look at the birth date, but both people asked for a phone number where they can call Jordan to ask questions. I reminded them that she was a baby, and is actually no longer with us. One person seemed confused, so I had to use the words "my daughter has passed away" That pretty much messed up my whole day. It set the tone and I had a hard time shaking it.
I open up a card that I received from a friend of mine from grade school back in San Antonio. It brought tears to my eyes to see that someone else has gone through the same thing, and that life does go on. I have not spoken with this friend in years, but we have reacquainted through facebook and she felt compelled to send me a note that she was praying for me. It is really amazing how many lives my little girl has touched in her short 9 week of life here on Earth. I am reading over the bible verses that she sent that helped them get through it. I fell so blessed and can honestly say that I think prayer is working! I have been able to be a functioning adult on most days. The cards,letters and books on grief have been very helpful.