I feel that every event that occurs from here until eternity I will always find myself saying, "if only Baby Jordan were here". I am sure that Father's day was tougher on my husband than he let on. Everything is in a different perspective when you loose a child to SIDS. Last father's day was our first weekend home with Jordan, and this was our first without her. Time goes by so fast.
We had good day,went to church and heard a great message for all parents about how to raise your kids. Let them be themselves, just as God has created them to be. They are not little versions of us. Then it was off to watch the Astros loose again. It was Chase's first baseball game and we were with good friends of ours, so the dads had a great day.
As we get ready for the new baby to arrive, I am washing and getting the room ready for her arrival. The outfits that we have photos of Jordan in, I put away for safe keeping. I want this baby to be different and have her own things. I tried to find an outfit for her coming home photo at the hospital that was not pink. That was a difficult task to accomplish. With clothes clean and the bed ready, we have less than a month until delivery.
Chase asks everyday, "Is baby Hope coming out today", when I tell him no he gets upset. Three year olds do not have a very good concept of time. Everything is either yesterday or tomorrow. Nothing in the future or past.
I am in the process of searching for childcare for baby Hope after her arrival. I want to find someone who will love her as much as our former babysitter did. But I also want someone who has knowledge about SIDS and what the ways to prevent it are. How many infants have they cared for and will they be a good fit for our family. I am finding it very tough task these days. But I think we are close.
Signing off to cook dinner for the family, thanks to all who read this. It is a good release to get things out of my head. We are working on an official website for Jordan's foundation and will post updated blog posts to that when we get it complete. It will be a great source of links on SIDS and resources that parents can come to. Definitely a work in progress, but a step in the right direction towards finding a cure.