The MBJ Foundation for SIDS is official!

We did it! The first of many steps in the long process to start an official foundation and get recognized as a non-profit organization from the IRS has become a reality. I was driving while out showing homes to a client yesterday when the attorney called. I told him that I hope he has good news for me because I was driving. He received the official word that our application for the 501(c)3 status had been approved.

This will make it possible to open so many doors for us. I cried as I drove and called friends and board members to share the great news. Our little angel in Heaven was looking over her mom yesterday. I was getting so frustrated with the process and the waiting and waiting that I was beginning to get down. I have a picture on my wall that says 'Don't worry about tomorrow because God is already there" I have to tell myself this all the time.

It is such a great feeling to have the ability to ask for donations and sponsorships with the power behind is to say that their donation is tax deductible.

God is good.

I count my blessings.

My baby Jordan would have turned 2 this past June. And I find it amazing how time flies by so quickly. The summer months are filled with highs and lows for the Connell family. We celebrated or third child's first birthday this past weekend with family and friends. And on August 21st it will be 2 years since we lost Baby J. As I type this I am filled with emotions of daily life.

I met a lady who is interested in helping us raise funds for the foundation this morning. She made a comment about how strong I am and how easy it is for me to talk about Jordan's death. What I wanted to tell her is that I am not nearly as strong as I appear. I am very good at putting on a poker face when it comes to emotions. When I talk about how we lost her I hope that it will continue to raise awareness and put her story on the hearts of everyone. Hopefully they will pass on that information and tell every mother they know to place their babies on their "Backs to Sleep". Telling her story does require strength but I feel that Jordan's angel gives me the courage to talk about it and tell her story.

I titled this blog post "I count my blessings". I have so many things in my life to be thankful for and at times it seems easier to dwell on the losses. I have also included a link to a song that has recently spoken to me and has really touched my heart.

- I am thankful for a God that is with me every day...
- for my family
- for the short 9 weeks that we were blessed with Baby Jordan in our lives
- for my smart and funny son who is 4. He wears our M.B.J. SIDS bracelet on his ankle in memory of his sister.
- for the beautiful baby girl we named Hope because she fills me with that every day
- for the ability to have a job that on some days allows me to rock my little Hope to sleep and lay her down for a nap.
- for a mother who taught me how to love and how to be a mom. The same mom who is also in Heaven holding my baby girl.
- for a church and a pastor who provides great wisdom and a place to worship. We have a great church family at Community of Faith
- for KSBJ, our local Christian Radio station that somehow knows the right song to play to lift my spirits.

I could be up all night listing every tiny thing that God has given me to touch my life.

We are praying that our 501 (C) 3 application currently in the hands of the IRS gets passed quickly and we are able to use that to work towards continuing to raise awareness of SIDS and safe sleeping practices.

The new normal

My new normal is taking it one day at a time. It is amazing to me how much people talk about kids. I find myself doing the same thing. The posts that I make in Facebook are often photos or comments about my kids. I receive an email every week on how my kids are developing and what milestone the may be achieving this week. They are the center of my world.

The hard part for me is when I mention one child, there is always that question that I still have trouble answering. "How many kids do you have" Hmmm....well I think to myself and try to find the right answer, the one that they want to hear. I have given birth to 3 beautiful children. But if I say "3" then the question that always follows is "how old are they". Well that is another tough one. Chase is 4 and a great little boy. Hope is 7 months old today and Jordan would be 20 months old but we lost her to SIDS when she was just 9 weeks old. And then the mood immediately changes and the person who asked feels bad for asking. I hate to make people feel bad for asking, but I do not want to tell a lie either. I love my baby girl every day and miss her dearly.

I wonder how many people are out there in the world trying to get pregnant and are having trouble. I am sure that they are bombarded with questions about why they don't have kids yet. When in fact that is the one most important thing in this world that they want and it is hard to say "I can't have kids" .

Hug your kids if you have them, hug and pray for someone who does not and please make sure to remind new mothers to place their babies on their backs to sleep.

Rough Day

"When life seems empty and there's no place to go, when your heart is troubled and your spirits are low the burden that seems too heavy to bear God lifts away on the wings of prayer"

I read this in a book today and it made me feel better. It has been over a year since I lost my baby girl and I still think about her every day. As we are about to celebrate Hope's 6 month birthday on Monday I am reminded that each day is precious. And that everyday that I have with my family is a blessing. from above.

2009 was a year of great highs and deep lows. But yet life goes on. Baby Jordan is with me always and I know that I have a little angel on my shoulder. God doesn't give us what we can not handle and surprisingly the sun comes up each morning and goes down again each night. The world still turns, no matter what is happening in our lives. I wish I could have stopped time for just one more day, one hour or even one second to be able to hold her warm hand and tell her that mommy loves her!

Kiss your loved ones today, time goes by too fast.

The MBJ Foundation will be her legacy. It is Baby Jordan's way of helping others from Heaven. Because I know that is where she is at.

Happy New Year!

As the new year comes quickly upon us, I found this article that I wanted to share. SIDS effects 2,500 babies a year. Let's all try to reduce this number to zero. There are researchers out there working to find the cause so that other families do not have to go through the same tragedy that we did.

As the holidays are come and go there are so many things that I am thankful for. I have a wonderful family, caring friends and a great church family at Community of Faith. I miss my baby girl every day. But I know that she is in good hands in Heaven. God has shown me that life can go on and that we can find JOY in the little things each day. As we celebrate this New Year's Eve, I found this article that it felt should be shared. Be careful and be safe.

Happy New Year. The Connell family is looking for a blessed 2010 and are working to continue to build the MBJ Foundation for SIDS to help make a difference in the lives of families.

Holiday Hangover- ABC News Article

Christmas Challenge

Christmas is a time of celebration. The birth of our savior so long ago. I wonder if Mary put the baby Jesus to sleep on his back. What an amazing tale of a mother's love. I lean on Jesus for strength and security in times of trouble and joy.

I can't help but think about our little Jordan and wonder what she would be doing. How much she would have grown and what she would be like? We have created this foundation to help give Jordan a voice to be able to help save other babies. Randy and I are looking forward to 2011 to be a year that will see the MBJ Foundation for SIDS to grow and make an impact in the community.

I will be posting articles about SIDS and preventive tips throughout the year on this blog site as well. Getting the word out and spreading information to as many people as possible is an important part of the MBJ Foundation for SIDS.

Back to Sleep Campaign article

It has already been a year....

I can look back and remember everything that happened a year ago today. The phone call, where I was at in the car, even what I was wearing. And I clearly remember praying for God to save my little girl. But He didn't. Why? I still ask that question on a daily basis. It makes me think of the Garth Brook's song "Unanswered Prayers". How does He decide which ones He wants to answer?

I still find myself asking were there signs that I missed? Did she do anything different that day that I should have caught as a mom. My head says that there wasn't, but my heart aches to wonder what I missed.

After going through such a tragedy and thinking about it every day, I just look up to the sky and tell my little girl hi. We will never know why God decided that he needed an angel that day, I feel blessed that we had her for 9 short weeks, too short of a time. I think about what milestone she would be hitting by now. I can imagine her hobbling around and trying to walk. Would she be saying 'momma" yet?

My son Chase picked up his cell phone the other day and said "I am going to call baby Jordan" he asked "can you talk baby Jordan?" " no ok, bye bye" and he hung up. I wonder how much he remembers, we were not even talking about her that day. My heart just sank and I tried to keep it together for him.

The circle of life just amazes me. As I type this I have a month old baby girl sleeping on my chest. What did I do to deserve the gift of giving birth to a little girl and the chance to be a mom again. God is Great! I look at her each day and just think that God must have big plans for her. If Jordan were still with us, we would not have had another baby. And this little precious life is here with us. She has so much of her sister in her.

Thanks for all of the prayers and kind thoughts. We need it.